Ephesians 5:23-33 - For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
If you think about it, a disciple to a teacher (rabbi) is described in largely the same way. A disciple listens to his teacher, accepts what he teaches or asks questions to clarify. A disciple doesn't assume he knows more than the teacher - although there are moments when logic needs to be worked out. We see this interaction between Jesus and His disciples. They asked questions but at no time did they ever presume to know more than their rabbi.
One thing to keep in mind is that it is NOT a peer-to-peer relationship. As a Christian, I am of the body of Christ and as such, subject to Him and His teaching. I'm not equal to Him. My opinion is not called for nor is it pertinent.
In our culture, since marriages are not arranged beforehand, we take time to "get to know" one another. This is the time to establish whether the wife can be the body (disciple) of her husband and whether the husband is qualified to be the head (rabbi) of his wife. This doesn't take too long to figure out but it does take time.
Compatibility, therefore, is determined by whether the Head / Body relationship can work. Does the rabbi seem to know what he's talking about? In other words, can he lead? Has he done his homework? If not then it's probably not a good idea to hitch your wagon to this rabbi. Compatibility doesn't depend (so much) on The Five Love Languages. Those things are nice but they're incidental.
Notice, that this has nothing to do with money or who has the "better job". Jesus was an itinerant preacher who had no visible means of support yet He led (and continues to lead) people. It has nothing to do with "looks". How good looking the teacher / student are is irrelevant.
Also, notice that, in a marriage relationship, the man is the Head and the woman is the Body. In the above text, the apostle quotes from Genesis chapter 2, which details how and why God made woman from man (Adam).
This is a topic with legs. Since these things are true, our entire culture must be re-examined, as none of these biblical "norms" are at all present in our society today. And when I look at the relationships I've had, I can see how this Head /Body (rabbi / disciple) paradigm was never achieved (nor was it even the goal).
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